?

Log in

I write everything down except what's on my mind. [entries|friends|calendar]
Sheila

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

all my poetry/songs [27 Feb 2008|07:56pm]
-Splint-

relentless, sauntering past
placing gaunt fingers onto raw flesh
slowly began to press
hissing with pain
released frail skin
shifting away
thrusting a narrow wrist
simplistic, proceeding to twist
perceiving a faint gaze
fought back the tears
blurry eyes so unclear
gushing rivers sting acrid lips
belligerent against the piercing grip
propelling restlessly
retaining lingering pain
rushing tears and blood, distain
thirsty for freedom
full of rage
trapped inside this revolting cage
feed me a remedy
rid this stint
taunt dysfunction to be a glint

-------

-Drowned Beauty-

Riding through a shower of sun drops
Raw Ice Slice my ribs
Blue rose thorns puncture amethyst lips
Radiant ruby disembogue, drips
Barbed-wire fence cuts into a rigid Spine
Entangled beauty lingers inside
Pool of Sapphire
Ocean of Needles
Soaring mountains of frost
Distorted diamonds dazzle
Falling angels
Thick pyres emerge
Pouring rain results in deepened wounds
Lost, echo's of fragile cerulean sustain
Chains of jaded emerald remain
Vague dreams of honey
Gilded thoughts written in stone
Anticipating one last ivory gaze
An iridescent glimpse
and its gone





-Echoing Gyration-

Tasting steaming water
escaping from the corners of parched lips
Windows open
Hearing sounds of angelic music
playing three houses down
Ascending the window
running through wet grass
spinning around
fluttering butterflies
stopping so fast
I lay upon the ground
Bleeding wounds
cover my knees
It doesn't matter now
I will do as I please
eyes blinded
head still skittish
Starting again
what I have just finished
Memories spiral downward
into the ground
Wondering, "How do they progress without making a sound?"

___

-Natural Born Life-

In a world of ice
Dwell thousands of torrid reveries
In a land of plague
Linger millions of bliss redemptions
Beings of scarlet flesh
and milky bones
intersperse this earth
with divergent dogmas
initiating persistent hostility
Displaying chalked spirits
on a slate of sin
Faded intoxication
Lie beneath an innocent angel's skin
An essence flaunts a solitary thread
Prodigal blood shed
Pray for the faces that may one day launch a thousand dreams
Maker of rain
Catch a bloody tear
from the boundless sky
Goddess of sun
Bare your golden candle
on which we rely



-Joven-

Young child don't cry
When your world starts to fall
I will be here to catch you
I heard it was sixes and sevens
up there in your heaven
Gelid ocean water
was all you could feel
No worries
Those wounds are going to heal
Observing grains of vanilla descend
from a glass wall
Bruises raw in a sea of revulsion
Suffocating in a bed of roses
Lost in my sanctuary of plated posies
Distorted perceptions
of faces in blue
Barriers of sealed ice
I can see right through
a divine life perceived in fate
Echo's of little prayers
immortally gyrate
_____

-Rouge-

Someone please hold me
I look pretty when I cry
Put me in a trance
I am serene when I lie
Inject me with poison
I tremble when I bleed
Transmit stirs of tranquil chaos
and I will lead
Wrists a canvas of cherry lust
Little secrets
hide behind heaps of disgust
Tiny French faeries dance in my head
Spinning and twirling
soaring ribbons of red
Crimson Angels draped in white
Fallen upon glass of garnet
A solitary rose
left in the hands of a child
Sweet kisses caress a forsaken prick
Petals of ash crumble
to the ground in exile






-emaciation-

when look at you I see the body of a child
with every rib perfectly placed and defined
I can count the vertebrae along your rickety spine
your razor sharp shoulder blades could cut through ice
while your size zeros collect at your spindly thighs

-----

-SOS-

I open my mouth to cry for help, but water fills my lungs while I quietly sink under.
An urchin swims beside me, but I am not ready to be saved.
I propel faster against the current.
Watch and see how far down I go.
slowly.
another foot under the frigid tide.
slowly.
70 feet.
slowly.
Crash to the ocean floor.

-La Vita Allegra-

My pulsating heart coincides to the rhythm of the drummer boy’s snare
I walk a fine line between rationality and insanity
I chose bones over morality, intricacy over simplicity.
Who’s to say which is more substantial?
Should I reach for the stars?
Is the fallout of ambition everlasting bliss?
Or shall I settle for integrity?






















"Forever Next To Me"

Lets swing a bit higher
If we're lucky we wont ever come down
will you help me slow down please?
My feet don't quite touch the ground

Hold me in your arms
Don't let my prom dress drag on the floor
Lets fall asleep in a bed of roses
Lay cut and bleeding from the thorns

Chorus:
Do you remember when you gave me that bottle
filled with sand from the Caribbean sea?
It shattered and landed on my pillow
so at night you're forever in my dreams

I put on my lipstick
But you just wipe it off my face
you say I don't need makeup
Because I am beautiful any place

Chorus:
Do you remember when you gave me that bottle
filled with sand from the Caribbean sea?
It shattered and landed on my pillow
so at night you're forever next to me

Lets spin a bit faster
if we're lucky we'll never stop
But if I get tired
will you catch me before I drop?

Chorus:
Do you remember when you gave me that bottle
filled with sand from the Caribbean sea?
It shattered and landed on my pillow
so at night you're forever in my dreams
(repeat chorus)














-the gift-

I wish someday I could sit down and
write something so inspiring that it could
change the world. I want to strip down
to the bones until all that is left of me
is the little star that defines me. I am
going to be the next Fiona apple and I'm
going to find someone who loves me.
caffeine and deprivation are my weapons of
choice. I've been given a gift so I'm
gonna exercise this voice.

-----

-lucent reality-

She built up castle walls made of ice so cold

not even the fiery pits of hell could melt them away.

Fear fills the vacuoles of the iced barriers.


Rejection resides in the attic.

While Denial and Jealousy keep her company in the confines of the basement.

The Cold-Hearted Queen rests upon a thrown of glass.

Her eyes are depths of pure blue.


A stream of velvet locks flow to the backs of her knees.


Lucent skin stretched upon bones complement the chiffon of her dress.


Spells of laughter nourish her body.


Sacred melodies replenish her soul.




One day her glass thrown will shatter beneath her fragile frame.

The pale floors will be stained a scarlet red.

Blood will soak the crystal barriers of her once unassailable asylum.

These castle walls perish under the weight of mortality.
"remember the stars"


its been 36 hours

since she last ate

she feels great pain

running on empty

glitter shimmers through her veins


(chorus)

give up control

trade in death for life

and don't forget to look up

and remember the stars



She spends Sunday mornings

sitting in coffee shops writing poetry

on the backs of receipts

detoxed from society



graveyard shifts

are spent in rest stop bathrooms

carving scarlet gashes

into her wrists



(chorus)

give up your razor blade

trade in death for life

and don't forget to look up

and remember the stars



she starts to come down

feeling broken again

turns up the music loud

screams, "I need you"

drowned out by the sound



(chorus)

pour out your powder

trade in death for life

and don't forget to look up

and remember the stars

 

Tell them to remember hope

Tell them to remember the stars



(repeat to fade)
remember the stars

















 

-RAVENOUS-

eyes wide open
bone chilling pain
soundless dizzy spells
my mind's insane
fingernails dug deep
into pillows of down

my stomach's a pit of nothing
but a knot tightly bound
slumber is veiled
under an inept void

my last morsel
was consumed at noon
grandfather strikes twelve
half the battle is through

insomnia lingers
as I anticipate the sunrise
my eyes grow heavy
as I envision confection:
candy canes, lollipops, caramels and cakes

I unwrap a kiss and take to my lips
for a moment I am sated
and then I awake

























-eulogy-

here she lies with an ivory rose
between her brittle fingers
I never quite understood her
but she was good to me
with every inch I got taller
I watched her grow smaller

(chorus)
she was the lyrics to my melody
her mind never at ease
so now she rests in peace

when I got pushed around
in her own special way
she helped me through
I hid my box of secrets in the closet
but she knew

(chorus)
she was the lyrics to my melody
her mind never at ease
so now she rests in peace

(repeat x2)

------

-unsound-

I hate the shade.
I hate the cold.
I fear the night.
dizziness. pixies.
cinnamon swirls.
cinnamon toast.
cinnamon crunch.
sugar sweet.
swollen belly. swollen chest.
pounding skull.
icy fingers.
safe in the garden.
I am protected.

----

“I don’t deserve you”

They say you can lose yourself
In this underground portal to hell
Called Hollywood
But I’m already so far gone
It wouldn’t matter anyway

My slight frame collapses
Under the pressure
of this stifling heat

I want to watch all the blood
Drain from my veins
I want to feel my flesh explode

(chorus)
I can never love you
if I don’t love myself
I can only paint a picture
With words to describe
to you the way I feel
I don’t deserve you
I don’t deserve you

I am unfit
I can no longer tend to this garden
frosted posies seep back into the soil
gilded sunflowers are wilting away

I am a walking night terror in the
eyes of these beholders
emerald poison in their souls,
Shooting back venom
with their eyes

(chorus)
I can never love you
if I don’t love myself
I can only paint a picture
With words to describe
to you the way I feel
I don’t deserve you
I don’t deserve you

I am never comfortable
which is why I am always changing
I am being held captive in my own body
But this body is nothing but a suit of armor

I don’t deserve you
I don’t deserve you



----

we grasp onto any piece of familiarity
we can get a hold of. like the feeling of
wet moss growing on a rock on your bare
feet. slippery and unsafe. jaw to pavement.
face to water. inhaling water.


---
her slight frame walks out of the
coffee shop for the second time today.
she's one of them.

----

goodbye to sanity. welcome to the wrapped
up world of light headed autumn air.

---

I am a walking night terror in the
eyes of these beholders.

---

dolly's flesh is swelling.
dolly's flesh is swollen.
dolly's heart is pounding.
dolly's head is spinning.
dolly's bones are breaking.
dolly fell apart.

---

emerald poison in their souls, shooting
back venom with their eyes.

---

keep dolly on a shelf with teddy,
and dolly will maintain. Throw her
to the bears unready, and dolly will
be slain.

---

I used to wonder what separated children from
adults, but now I know. It is thoughts of hopelessness,
and fear of not finding a place in this world.
It is the close-mindedness and the fear of
not finding something worthy to live for.

---

the scent of autumn air is right around
the corner. spices of cinnamon and pumpkin fill
the air. The iridescent cobwebs are forming
in the corners of front porches.

---


---

we as individuals are constantly evolving. we are only
a glimpse of our former selves.

---

I want to watch all the blood drain
from my veins. I want to feel my
flesh explode.

---

I am unfit.
I can no longer tend to this garden.
frosted posies seep back into the soil
gilded sunflowers are wilting away

---

I am never comfortable. which is why I am always changing.

---

she carries around a bag that is bigger
than her. she wears red heart-shaped
glasses. she is not like the others.
uniqueness is unacceptable where she stays.
but standing out is what makes her special.

---

I embrace my uniqueness. I live my life the
way I want. I feed off their stunned faces.
I love being the only one of my kind. I think
I may be okay here- and that scares me.

---

I am going to try to get as close to
perfection as I possibly can.
These idle hands will no longer wander.
consider these gaps of idle time to be filled.

---

we live in gingerbread houses in the city
of London with our rainbow colored
goldfish and a Dalmatian named jelly.

---



---

we are sitting around, trying to
waste time because we have nothing
to look forward to. we are bored as
hell. wondering what to do with
the rest of our lives.

---

I can only paint a picture with
words to describe to you the way I feel.

---

a slight frame collapses under the pressure
of the stifling heat.

---
post comment

My inner wisdom will save me. [24 Feb 2007|01:34am]
lately I have been preoccupied with the fact that I am alone in this world. but now I realize that there is no reason to dwell. I don't need anybody in this world. I can live on my own. No strings attached. from now on whenever I hit rock bottom I am just going to write a song about it. I found unconditional love; music. I am still unsure where I want to go with my life. I need some motivation. and inspiration. I think I need to take a trip. to anywhere. I need a new outlook on life. I need to see things in a new perspective. I need a revelation. I had a small one today, but I need something bigger. Lets see here...I love music. I like to write. I like to travel. I am fascinated with the well being of the human anatomy. and then theres that whole fame thing. huh. there must be something I can do with my life that combines all my interests..but what? a singing pop sensation? maybe. or possibly I can run my own little boutique or cafe in san fran. or I can work in a hospital as a nutritionist or therapist. I do like helping people. there are so many options. I just don't know where to begin.
post comment

[24 Feb 2007|12:05am]
today I saw, "music and lyrics" with my mom and joseph. It kind of inspired me to get back into writing music. Its just what I needed.
1 comment|post comment

[29 Jun 2005|03:23am]
Image hosting by Photobucket
8 comments|post comment

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]